Based on a True Sweater

Nov. 15, 2006


I'm in Calgary this week, visiting people I love and miss. Although I'm not going to be able to see everyone I was hoping to see while I'm here, it's been a really excellent trip so far. There's a lot to tell; I'll write more in coming days. Tonight, however, was particularly special.

Eight and a half years ago, I had a terrible, terrible fight with a beloved friend. I was quite certain that our friendship was truly lost. Because of a mutual friend, we did eventually regain contact a few years ago, but I didn't really think we would ever really reconnect.

We went out for dinner tonight, and we did indeed reconnect. We talked about the fight we had had and about how we both regretted the rift between us. We started catching up. I had never thought that this could happen; the fight had been so horrible, and it had hurt so much. I know that one dinner after eight years is really just a start, but I feel like I have my friend back.

In the aftermath of the fight eight-plus years ago, I made a choice to use the awful loss of my friend as an opportunity to change the things about myself which had contributed to the conflict. I really worked hard at this; the price was so high, I wanted to be sure I would earn something valuable in return. (Okay, I've never actually put it in those terms before, but the analogy makes sense to me.) Tonight, I feel as though I've been given a refund.

Sitting here in my parents' house right now, thinking of my friends, my husband, my loving family, and this lost, lamented friendship now regained, I can hardly imagine how I could be luckier.


At 8:16 a.m., Anonymous Rachael said...

How wonderful that you were able to reconnect with this person after such a long absence from each others lives, and put such an upsetting incident behind you. Things like this are a sign of the kind of emotional maturity that develops as we grow older, and are able to step back, reflect, and learn from mistakes.

At 11:03 a.m., Anonymous Wendy said...

Yay, I'm glad to hear that things are looking up and lighter.

At 1:00 p.m., Blogger Brenda said...

wonderful story - reconnecting, forgiving, moving forward, growing wiser... i wonder how many of us are missing an old friend right now...

At 1:18 p.m., Blogger slightly-less-random said...

This is a beautifully articulate re-connection story; thank you for sharing it Mandy! I'm happy to hear that you've experienced this kind of lightness while in Calgary.

At 12:39 p.m., Blogger Leigh said...

Past differences can seem insurmountable, can't they? Your tale is so heartening.

At 5:15 p.m., Blogger knitty_kat said...

Thank you for sharing this. It is an excellent recount of turning around a sad, old situation.

Glad to hear it. Hope you have fun in ALTA


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